A Two-Way Family Communication Routine for Educators

Family engagement works best when communication creates a conversation, not merely a stream of reminders. A small, consistent routine can help a teacher learn what families know about their children and make classroom goals easier to understand.

Start with a clear purpose

Choose one learning goal to explain in plain language. Share an example of what students are practicing and one short activity that fits an ordinary home routine. Invite families to tell you what they notice, what is hard, or what language and format make communication accessible.

Offer a way back

A note, call, text system, or meeting can work if families know how to respond. Ask one specific question instead of a broad request to “get involved.” Make room for strengths as well as concerns, and follow up on what a family shares.

Review the pattern

Notice whose voices are missing and whether timing, translation, technology, or an assumption might be a barrier. The Institute of Education Sciences’ family and community engagement toolkit offers prompts for reflection and communication.

One useful exchange can begin a partnership. Keep the next step specific, and let families see how their input shaped it.

What is stress, the causes of stress? Is it inevitable?

Stress affects many Americans; it is not just a 21st century problem but and issue that people all over the world have experienced since the beginning of time. Stress can if continued can have a negative impact on a person’s life. Stress doesn’t always have to be negative. Stress can also lead to positive results pushing the person undergoing stress to the next level in their life. According to the googled definition, stress is the pressure or tension exerted on a material object. A state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances

What are the main causes is stress? There are various things in a person’s life that can cause stress. In a person’s personal life such as health, emotional problems, your relationship, major changes in life, stress in the family or conflicts with your beliefs and values. There are also social and job related causes of stress as well such as your surroundings, social situation, or job. A person can also desire help when dealing with stress if they have encountered life threatening or traumatic events like death of a loved one, sexual violation, natural disaster or war. Those particular events can cause something that is called (PTSD) post traumatic stress disorder. Stress is your body’s way of responding to any kind of demand or threat.

Often times stress can come from factors on the inside of you rather than the outside. A person can cause unwanted stress by worrying about things that they have no control over. The fear of the unknown can lead to a person becoming stressed. We often watch the local news and hearing of the recent wars, the results of the presidential election and the state our country is in a result, wildfires, earthquakes, bombings etc. can seen us into a state of fear causing stress because we have no control over the outcomes. We know deep down that there is no way to know when, where or how these disasters will happen but the daily coverage on the news makes us believe that the events are more than likely to happen and happen often. We can also experience fear in our own home such as the fear of loneliness, bills not being paid on time, school, work products and children.

The way we perceive things and our responses to them can determine whether we will let it add stress into our lives. For example, you can get a flat tire and if your respond to it as “oh well, I have tire warranty, I’m covered you are less likely to stress you out. “My tire is busted, what if it happens to my other tires; will they continue to cover it?” As for me, my constant worry is I am taking classes’ full time as well as working full time; will I be able to handle this? Do I have the ability to be successful at both? We tend to think that we are perfect without fault. As stated in the article Causes of stress in webmd “If you expect to do everything right, all the time, you’re destined to feel stressed when things don’t go as expected”. When a person experience change in their life, it can be stressful be it a happy or sad event. What we allow to stress us is based on the person that we are.

What can stress do to your body? The hypothalamus, a tiny control tower in our brain, sends out the order: Bring on stress hormones! These stress hormones are the same ones that trigger your body’s “fight or flight” response. Your heart starts to race, breath quickens, and muscles are ready for action. This response was designed to protect the body in an emergency by preparing you to react quickly. But when a person continues to become stressed, the stress response keeps firing, day after day, and it can put your health at serious risk. Below, is a chart that explains the effects of stress on various parts of the body.

Stress is a natural physical and mental reaction to life experiences. Everyone will experience stress from time to time. In all of a sudden, short-term situations, stress can be beneficial to your health. It can help prepare your body with the ability to handle potentially serious situations. If your stress response doesn’t stop firing, these stress levels stay at a heightened level longer than needed for survival and as a result, it can take a toll on your health. Chronic stress can cause a variety of symptoms and affect your overall quality of life.

Behavioral symptoms that causes stress We already know that stress can have serious affects on the body but many do not realize that when you are stressed, it affects your thoughts and feelings, and your behavior. Being able to recognize when you are stressed, can give you a head start managing it. A few common effects of stress on your mood causes anxiety, restlessness, lack of motivation or focus, feeling of being overwhelmed, irritability or anger, and sadness or depression. Common effects of stress on your behavior are overeating/ lack of eating, angry outbursts, drug or alcohol, tobacco use, social withdrawal or change in lifestyle veering away from the things that normally gives you pleasure.

How to manage stress? Because stress is unavoidable, it can be manageable. There are are several ways that you can manage your stress level is by engaging in exercising. Exercising on a daily basis can help change your mood and can be used as a distraction from the worries in life and allows you to come away from the negative thoughts that adds to your stress level. Connecting with others can be a stress reliever as well. Something as simple as being in the company and talking to another person can send signal to your body and ease stress when you are feeling irritated. Engage your senses of touch, taste, seeing, smell, hearing can calm you. Often times when I am feeling stressed, I listen to gospel music or a sermon while at times taking deep breathes has a tendency to calm me. When I do these things, it switches my focus from the negative to the positive.

Learn how to relax we cannot prevent stress from happening in our life however, we can control our response to it. When we use techniques to relax our body like yoga, meditation, and deep breathing send a signal to our body to relax. Eating right is another way to help us manage stress. The foods that we decide to put into our bodies can help or hurt the way we feel and our ability to handle situations. Lastly, getting plenty of rest also helps. When our bodies are tired, stress can cause us to respond in a way that we normally would not if we had the ability to think rationally. If we are under stress, we either have a hard time falling asleep or have a hard time sleeping the entire night.

When children face stress, unfortunately they do not always have the tools to help them manage the stress as adults do. As adults, it is our job to help a child cope when they are experiencing stress. Before a child is born, it can be affected by stress if the mother is experiencing a period of stress while the child is still in the womb. The brain is the primary stress organ. The mother has cortisol levels in her body that can affect the developing fetus. If the mother is stressed, it can directly affect to the well-being of the unborn child.

Stress levels that are positive and easily tolerated by the body are safe. However, stress that is toxic can increase the risk of premature birth, low birth weight and other complications. Stress can also be linked to I impaired mental, behavioral and motor development in the baby. For children, their bodies and minds are still growing, so coping strategies would be extremely important for them. High levels of stress early on have been connected to impaired behavioral and emotional development as well as numerous health impacts later on in life.

In conclusion, stress is a powerful thing that can help or hurt a person. The way in which we allow it to affect our life is how we respond to the stressful event. Everyone needs to have the ability and the tools needed for them to get through their situation. Given that children are not capable to do the things necessary to manage stress, we must guide them through the process which is similar to the way that adults need to get through situations. Initially, when I saw that a 6-8 pages research paper was the midterm for this class I immediately when through mixed emotions causing stress on me. I did not sleep at all last night worrying if I could get the job done. After going through various emotions, it was up to me to either let it get me down and take a toll on me or take a deep breath and tackle my exam head first.

Bibliography:

Helpguide.org. (2017). Stress Symptoms, Signs, and Causes: Improving Your Ability to Handle Stress. [online] Available at: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-symptoms-signs-and-causes.htm [Accessed 17 Oct. 2017].

Mayoclinic.org. (2017). Stress symptoms: Effects on your body and behavior – Mayo Clinic. [online] Available at: http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-symptoms/art-20050987?p=1 [Accessed 17 Oct. 2017].

Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. (2017). Neglect. [online] Available at: https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/deep-dives/neglect/ [Accessed 17 Oct. 2017]

Pinterest. (2017). Best 10+ Physical effects of stress ideas on Pinterest | Psychological effects of stress, Negative effects of stress and Physical symptoms of anxiety. Available at: https://www.pinterest.com/explore/physical-effects-of-stress/?lp=true [Accessed 17 Oct. 2017].

Mental Health Among African American Children

Mental disorders among children are described as serious changes in the way children typically learn, behave, or handle their emotions, causing distress and problems getting through the day. (Perou, Blumberg, Pastor, Ghandour, et al., 2013) According to the Center for Disease Control (2016), children may experience mental health issues if they have a parent with poor mental health or live in a neighborhood that lack support. Conditions such as Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), depression, anxiety problems, behavioral or conduct problems such as oppositional defiant disorder or conduct disorder may develop. These adverse effects may stem from sociodemographic factors or environmental influences. The onset of symptoms are often recognized in early childhood. (Bitsko, Holbrook, Robinson, Kaminski, Ghandour, Smith, and Peacock, 2016)

African American children may have additional barriers as it relates to mental health. Generally there is a lack of understanding regarding mental disorders which leads to a lack of care. Parents distrust many health professionals and therefore do not share potential contributing factors or mental health history. Consultation, collaboration, and communication between educators and parents could lead to referrals to diagnosticians or health professionals for proper care.

To better understand the impact of mental disorders, educators can learn more about the signs and symptoms, promote the importance of mental health with families, and understand the impact of treatment and intervention strategies. Training in cultural competence is an added benefit when working with African American children and other minorities.

Resilience

Stress comes in many different forms. Resilience is how one copes with stress. It too can be in various forms. Signs of physical stress may include headaches and other psychosomatic symptoms. An example of resilience could be not taking on so many projects and learning how to emphatically say no when you are already overwhelmed.

Some factors and strategies on building resiliency have been identified by the American Psychological Association (2004). These factors include (a) the capacity for building caring and supportive relationships, (b) the ability to communicate skillfully and solve problems, (c) the capacity to make realistic plans and take steps to carry them out, (d) a positive self-image and confidence in their strengths and abilities, and (e) the ability to manage strong feelings and impulses. Having a supportive network, making positive connections with others, avoiding perception of crises as insurmountable, accepting change as a part of life, and implementing self-care are strategies that contribute to building resiliency.

Educators must be able to recognize signs of stress in students. Teaching coping strategies is a valuable tool in building resiliency. Dismissing behavior as tittle-tattling, unfocused, or temperamental could be a missed opportunity to recognize mental health concerns. Bullying, sleeping in class, and being disruptive are generally behaviors that constitute disciplinary action in schools. However, developing a rapport and effective communication with students and their families may divulge underlying issues.

Combating the beginning signs of mental illness with a combination of coping mechanisms, stress management techniques, and resources encourages cultural competency when collaborating with families to educate and establish relationships. Collaboration and communication minimizes assumptions and stereotyping. The goal is to promote wellness and support families with acknowledgement and respect. Professional school counselors can assist educators and families with workshops, resources, or educational information regarding stress, cultural competency, mental health, and resilience.

Cultural competency checklist

An initial guide to address cultural competency level would be to consider the following questions:

  • Am I being dismissive of what is being said because my experiences were different?
  • Am I using language that is considered as microaggressions or microinsults?
  • In what lens am I viewing the individual’s issues? Could there be some countertransference?
  • Is the individual’s best interest the focus of the treatment?

A Critique of Why American Students Haven’t Gotten Better at Reading in 20 Years

Children reading a book together

Reading is Fundamental is a term that we use often in our schools, churches and families across America. Infants and toddlers in some cultures are exposed to written as well as oral language. In American families, adults and infants, toddlers and elementary school age children of all cultural groups spend time together reading stories or browsing other written materials. When parents read with toddlers and elementary children, they promote literacy skills, such as how to handle books, turn pages and master the content in the book.

Various experiences are warm and enjoyable and how, early in life, that reading is interesting and worthwhile. In shared reading activities, children learn that stories are read with a certain pacing and intonation. As young children, many school age students respond to parent’s book reading in unique and complex ways. Some children have been found to imitate events in a story after they have heard it. They also are more accurate in their reenactments the more times they have heard and read a story. This suggests that parents and caregivers should begin identifying children’s favorite picture books and rereading them, even before 2 years of age.

The reason so many children have not gotten better at reading in 20 years is complex. The future of reading in America is the result of a myriad of social norms and advancements in technology. Children’s brains now react not only to whether words sounded differently, but also to whether they are familiar or unfamiliar words. At the young age of 5 years old, the speech-processing region of brain appears to be very sensitive to detecting and analyzing language based on both speech sounds and meaning.

Some child and family service programs, such as Head Start, Even Start and the Family Resource Center now include literacy interventions for infants, toddler and young children. A few studies have been conducted to examine the effects of reading strategies that address the impact of why we haven’t gotten better at reading in the U.S. in the past 20 years, aimed at the cultural and contextual differences among today’s children. The bottom line is that it is NEVER TO EARLY TO READ TO CHILDREN.

Some children also have language delays. Additionally, some language delays have clearly specified causes. Some are: 1) Hearing impairment; 2) Down Syndrome; 3) Autism and 4) General Language Delays. The term delay causes some confusion, however, it implies that
some children will simply catch up with their peers in language and reading competence over tie. This is not always the case. Children with general language delays as toddlers or in preschool years are more likely to have language, reading, and academic problems and will be identified as having learning disabilities later in life. Unfortunately, some children have been identified as having reading delays merely because they are from families of different cultures or because they speak different dialects or languages. Educators, child and family professionals and policy makers should take great care not to assume that language differences are deficits.

The future of reading is clear, and the implication is even clearer. Policymakers have pushed for more testing of reading and mathematics in narrowing the gap between the rich and the poor children in our schools in America. However, these failed policies, laws and even strategies have left a generation of children less equipped to read and explore languages over the past few years. The answer to this ongoing dilemma is not as complicated as it appears. The need for teachers and educators to motivate, nurture and challenge our children in the developmental years worked in the 1960’s – 1990’s. Children and parents seemed to care about mutual responsibilities in the family and time was not marred with meetings, extended work hours and far less family time. Today, children and parents are stressed and stretched to the limit filling the day with activities that keep children busy yet, not engaged in the fundamental learning of the 3 R’s: 1) Reading, 2) Writing and 3) Arithmetic. Until our focus returns to READING IS FUNDAMENTAL – we will be continuing to have generations of children becoming adults who are unequipped with the necessary skills to advance themselves and their future families. Ultimately, we will be having this same conversation for years to come contemplating the question: Why Haven’t We Gotten Better at Reading over the past 20 years. It will be a shame if in 2050, we are reading this article and dealing with the same issue about reading 20 or 30 years from today.

Suzanne Mynette Mayo, Ph.D

Suzanne Mynette Mayo, Ph.D

Lecturer, Family and Consumer Sciences Department,
Grambling State University, Grambling, LA

GUIDELINES to a Successful Family-School Relationship

Let’s consider specific guidelines to help you communicate effectively with your child’s teacher.

Practice these guidelines, and your child will reap the benefits.

Guideline 1: Identify the purpose for the conference.

Is it to become acquainted? Is it to alleviate your concerns about your child’s attitude towards reading and school? Is it to receive a report card or test scores? Each of these situations is vastly different and requires different preparation.

Guideline 2: Communicate the purpose for the conference.

If you are requesting the conference, immediately tell the teacher the purpose. This helps to alleviate any preconceived ideas the teacher may have about your request to hold a conference.

Guideline 3: Arrange the conference at the teacher’s convenience.

The teacher now has sufficient time to plan and to have the necessary information at the conference. An unplanned conference can turn out to be a waste of time for both teacher and parent and cause feelings of frustration.

Guideline 4: Plan for the conference.

Write out the areas and questions you want the conference to cover. Combine, delete, and clarify these questions; and, finally, prioritize them. By using this process, your most important questions will be answered in a clear, succinct manner.  Moreover, the teacher’s responses will likely be clearer and more to the point.

Guideline 5: Restate the purpose of the conference at the onset.

Try to stay on the predetermined topic(s) since your time together is limited.

Guideline 6: Display a positive attitude during the conference.

Be aware that not only what you say reflects your attitude, but also your tone of voice, facial expression, and body language. A loud voice may imply dominance.  Rigid posture may suggest anger or disapproval.  Always listen attentively and show your enthusiasm.

Guideline 7: Remain open and supportive throughout the conference.

Try not to become defensive or antagonistic; otherwise the outcome of the conference may be unfruitful. Strive for cooperation with your child’s teacher. Even if the teacher presents a negative side of your child’s behavior or informs you of other problems, try to remain objective. This can be difficult when it is your child, but he may experience as many or more difficulties if you and the teacher do not try to find a way to work together to solve these problems.

Guideline 8: Make sure suggestions are provided to increase your child’s growth.

If your child is doing well, find out what you can do to ensure continued success and progress. If he/she has difficulties, make sure the teacher goes beyond merely pointing out a problem. The teacher needs to provide ideas for eliminating or reducing the difficulty. Many parents become discouraged or aggravated if a teacher points out problems, but does not provide solutions. Do not allow this situation to occur. If immediate suggestions can not be provided, then a follow-up conference is needed.

Guideline 9: Ask for examples of daily work to better understand your child’s strengths and weaknesses.

By reviewing your child’s work, you will learn if progress has been made since the last conference. Have any weaknesses become more severe?  If improvement has not been made, are other methods or materials an option?  Inquire what you can do at home with your child.

Guideline 10: Clarify and summarize each important point as it is discussed.

Thus, both teacher and parent are better able to develop a mutual understanding and agreement. Let’s look at a conference in which a parent does a good job of clarifying and summarizing a major point.

Teacher: Kimberly has difficulties with oral reading. She is not reading smoothly and tends to read in a word-by-word fashion. If Kimberly reads along with a taped version of a book, her oral reading would improve. Can you provide Kimberly with taped versions of books?

Parent: Kimberly is a poor reader. Do you want me to make tapes of books so Kimberly can read along with the tapes?

Teacher: Yes, you can make tapes, but the public and school libraries can also provide you with tapes, cd’s and books. Also, I would like to clarify one point about Kimberly’s reading ability. She has some difficulty with oral reading, but I would not classify her as a poor reader.

Parent: Thank you for the clarification. Kimberly and I  will work together on improving oral reading. We will check the school and public libraries for some books and recordings.

If the parent had not summarized and clarified what was heard in this conference, a misconception may have developed. By suggesting that she would record books for Kimberly, the parent was able to find out whether the suggestion was appropriate, as well as learning about alternatives. Notice that this parent summarized the conference at the end.  As a result, both parties received the same message.

Guideline 11: Once agreement is reached, discuss the next topic.

During the conference, you may want the teacher to understand certain things about your child, or you may have a special request. Once your point is understood and the teacher has agreed, it is wise not to continue the same discussion. It may present new questions which may reverse your previous agreement. Once a decision is made, it is best to start discussing the next point. You will find the conference to be much more productive.

Guideline 12: Make sure you understand the information the teacher is supplying.

Often teachers use educational jargon, not realizing parents may not understand. Don’t be afraid to ask for an explanation or definition. Make sure when the conference ends you have understood all the information reported. If you are unclear or uncertain about any aspect of the conference, your child may not benefit and learning may be hindered. After all, don’t you encourage your child(ren) to ask questions when they do not understand? Simply follow your own advice here.

Guideline 13: Keep conferences short.

Conferences that run more than 40 minutes can be tiresome for both parent and teacher. If you can not accomplish all that has been planned, ask for another conference. By scheduling a future conference, you will have an opportunity to follow up on previous agreements and revise them, if necessary.

Remember, your child will benefit from an amicable, enthusiastic relationship between parent and teacher.  One should function as the support system for the other.   After all, this is one of the most important relationships you have as it relates to your child.

Carol Alexander-Lewis

Carol Alexander-Lewis

Publisher of Modern Parents Magazine