Parents – Modern Parents Magazine

What is stress, the causes of stress? Is it inevitable?

Stress affects many Americans; it is not just a 21st century problem but and issue that people all over the world have experienced since the beginning of time. Stress can if continued can have a negative impact on a person’s life. Stress doesn’t always have to be negative. Stress can also lead to positive results pushing the person undergoing stress to the next level in their life. According to the googled definition, stress is the pressure or tension exerted on a material object. A state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances

What are the main causes is stress? There are various things in a person’s life that can cause stress. In a person’s personal life such as health, emotional problems, your relationship, major changes in life, stress in the family or conflicts with your beliefs and values. There are also social and job related causes of stress as well such as your surroundings, social situation, or job. A person can also desire help when dealing with stress if they have encountered life threatening or traumatic events like death of a loved one, sexual violation, natural disaster or war. Those particular events can cause something that is called (PTSD) post traumatic stress disorder. Stress is your body’s way of responding to any kind of demand or threat.

Often times stress can come from factors on the inside of you rather than the outside. A person can cause unwanted stress by worrying about things that they have no control over. The fear of the unknown can lead to a person becoming stressed. We often watch the local news and hearing of the recent wars, the results of the presidential election and the state our country is in a result, wildfires, earthquakes, bombings etc. can seen us into a state of fear causing stress because we have no control over the outcomes. We know deep down that there is no way to know when, where or how these disasters will happen but the daily coverage on the news makes us believe that the events are more than likely to happen and happen often. We can also experience fear in our own home such as the fear of loneliness, bills not being paid on time, school, work products and children.

The way we perceive things and our responses to them can determine whether we will let it add stress into our lives. For example, you can get a flat tire and if your respond to it as “oh well, I have tire warranty, I’m covered you are less likely to stress you out. “My tire is busted, what if it happens to my other tires; will they continue to cover it?” As for me, my constant worry is I am taking classes’ full time as well as working full time; will I be able to handle this? Do I have the ability to be successful at both? We tend to think that we are perfect without fault. As stated in the article Causes of stress in webmd “If you expect to do everything right, all the time, you’re destined to feel stressed when things don’t go as expected”. When a person experience change in their life, it can be stressful be it a happy or sad event. What we allow to stress us is based on the person that we are.

What can stress do to your body? The hypothalamus, a tiny control tower in our brain, sends out the order: Bring on stress hormones! These stress hormones are the same ones that trigger your body’s “fight or flight” response. Your heart starts to race, breath quickens, and muscles are ready for action. This response was designed to protect the body in an emergency by preparing you to react quickly. But when a person continues to become stressed, the stress response keeps firing, day after day, and it can put your health at serious risk. Below, is a chart that explains the effects of stress on various parts of the body.

Stress is a natural physical and mental reaction to life experiences. Everyone will experience stress from time to time. In all of a sudden, short-term situations, stress can be beneficial to your health. It can help prepare your body with the ability to handle potentially serious situations. If your stress response doesn’t stop firing, these stress levels stay at a heightened level longer than needed for survival and as a result, it can take a toll on your health. Chronic stress can cause a variety of symptoms and affect your overall quality of life.

Behavioral symptoms that causes stress We already know that stress can have serious affects on the body but many do not realize that when you are stressed, it affects your thoughts and feelings, and your behavior. Being able to recognize when you are stressed, can give you a head start managing it. A few common effects of stress on your mood causes anxiety, restlessness, lack of motivation or focus, feeling of being overwhelmed, irritability or anger, and sadness or depression. Common effects of stress on your behavior are overeating/ lack of eating, angry outbursts, drug or alcohol, tobacco use, social withdrawal or change in lifestyle veering away from the things that normally gives you pleasure.

How to manage stress? Because stress is unavoidable, it can be manageable. There are are several ways that you can manage your stress level is by engaging in exercising. Exercising on a daily basis can help change your mood and can be used as a distraction from the worries in life and allows you to come away from the negative thoughts that adds to your stress level. Connecting with others can be a stress reliever as well. Something as simple as being in the company and talking to another person can send signal to your body and ease stress when you are feeling irritated. Engage your senses of touch, taste, seeing, smell, hearing can calm you. Often times when I am feeling stressed, I listen to gospel music or a sermon while at times taking deep breathes has a tendency to calm me. When I do these things, it switches my focus from the negative to the positive.

Learn how to relax we cannot prevent stress from happening in our life however, we can control our response to it. When we use techniques to relax our body like yoga, meditation, and deep breathing send a signal to our body to relax. Eating right is another way to help us manage stress. The foods that we decide to put into our bodies can help or hurt the way we feel and our ability to handle situations. Lastly, getting plenty of rest also helps. When our bodies are tired, stress can cause us to respond in a way that we normally would not if we had the ability to think rationally. If we are under stress, we either have a hard time falling asleep or have a hard time sleeping the entire night.

When children face stress, unfortunately they do not always have the tools to help them manage the stress as adults do. As adults, it is our job to help a child cope when they are experiencing stress. Before a child is born, it can be affected by stress if the mother is experiencing a period of stress while the child is still in the womb. The brain is the primary stress organ. The mother has cortisol levels in her body that can affect the developing fetus. If the mother is stressed, it can directly affect to the well-being of the unborn child.

Stress levels that are positive and easily tolerated by the body are safe. However, stress that is toxic can increase the risk of premature birth, low birth weight and other complications. Stress can also be linked to I impaired mental, behavioral and motor development in the baby. For children, their bodies and minds are still growing, so coping strategies would be extremely important for them. High levels of stress early on have been connected to impaired behavioral and emotional development as well as numerous health impacts later on in life.

In conclusion, stress is a powerful thing that can help or hurt a person. The way in which we allow it to affect our life is how we respond to the stressful event. Everyone needs to have the ability and the tools needed for them to get through their situation. Given that children are not capable to do the things necessary to manage stress, we must guide them through the process which is similar to the way that adults need to get through situations. Initially, when I saw that a 6-8 pages research paper was the midterm for this class I immediately when through mixed emotions causing stress on me. I did not sleep at all last night worrying if I could get the job done. After going through various emotions, it was up to me to either let it get me down and take a toll on me or take a deep breath and tackle my exam head first.

Bibliography:

Helpguide.org. (2017). Stress Symptoms, Signs, and Causes: Improving Your Ability to Handle Stress. [online] Available at: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-symptoms-signs-and-causes.htm [Accessed 17 Oct. 2017].

Mayoclinic.org. (2017). Stress symptoms: Effects on your body and behavior – Mayo Clinic. [online] Available at: http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-symptoms/art-20050987?p=1 [Accessed 17 Oct. 2017].

Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. (2017). Neglect. [online] Available at: https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/deep-dives/neglect/ [Accessed 17 Oct. 2017]

Pinterest. (2017). Best 10+ Physical effects of stress ideas on Pinterest | Psychological effects of stress, Negative effects of stress and Physical symptoms of anxiety. Available at: https://www.pinterest.com/explore/physical-effects-of-stress/?lp=true [Accessed 17 Oct. 2017].

Stress Affects on Families and Children

In its toxic form, stress affects behavior and physical health, and we need to translate this knowledge into public policies that can prevent it. The importance of children’s earliest years has long been recognized, but our understanding of the underlying science has taken a significant leap in the past decades. Studies regularly document the effects that a child’s earliest experiences can have in later life and adult health. There is a growing consensus among experts that a key mechanism linking childhood adversity to later health and well-being is the stress caused by early negative experiences. These early negative experiences manifest in neglect, emotional and physical abuse, and excessively harsh parenting.

In this context, “stress” doesn’t refer to a worried or anxious state of mind, but rather to the body’s physical responses to negative circumstances. When a situation is perceived as challenging or threatening, the body responds with a series of chemical reactions that affect heart rate, blood pressure, metabolism and other functions. These temporary adjustments help us adapt and survive, but when they happen too frequently or last too long they can produce lifelong chronic disease. For children, whose bodies and minds are still growing, a well-tuned stress response system is especially important. High levels of early stress have been linked to impaired behavioral and emotional development as well as numerous health consequences later in life, including high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, obesity and diabetes. Such consequences cost our society in many ways.

Positive stress is a normal part of learning and development. As children learn to cope with frustration, overcome obstacles and confront challenges, they will experience a certain amount of stress. This level of stress is usually safe and manageable, especially if a child has the support of a healthy home environment. It is important to distinguish tolerable stress from toxic stress. Toxic stress is the result of serious events like a death in the family, a high-conflict divorce or a prolonged illness. It is potentially harmful, but sensitive and responsive parenting can protect children from long-term consequences. But in order for these stresses to be managed, parents and caregivers must be aware of the dangers, and must then be equipped with proper supportive response patterns. As educators, working hands on with children and families, it is our collective responsibility to educate on how to manage these inevitable life events one of our highest priorities.

In contrast to tolerable stress, toxic stress refers to persistent, unhealthy amounts of stress caused by chronic stressful conditions without the protective benefits of healthy caregiving. These stresses can eventually cause permanent damage. I truly believe that by coming together has a community and joining forces, the ability to reallocate resources toward the prevention of toxic stress in children and families is endless.

Promoting public health and reducing health disparities require solutions that target children’s earliest years is so critique. It is clearer than ever before that health, achievement and success have their roots in the first months and years of life. Reducing adversity and stress in early childhood should be a key goal of efforts to improve the lives of children. Stress can provoke negative effects in children just as it does with adults. Family stress can be a catalyst for a variety of symptoms in children, according to Novella Ruffin of Virginia State University, including “bed-wetting, upset stomach, irritability, nightmares, lying, withdrawal from activity, change in activity level, poor sleep or eating habits, teeth grinding, or decline in school achievement.” Parents and other caregivers who are alert can take proactive steps to alleviate the harmful effects of stress. This is why being so hands on and present with children is a must, we cannot fulfil our duties as children’s activist if we do not do so.

Stress, according to Ruffin, is “the body’s reaction to a physical or emotional situation that causes imbalance in a person’s life.” Family stresses which can create imbalance and thus have negative effects upon children include a parent’s loss of employment, divorce, fights, physical or emotional abuse, death of loved ones, the arrival of new siblings or environmental changes. Working parents must also be mindful that although their children are not exposed to direct and obvious catalysts, lack of parental interaction and feelings of isolation can also produce stress for children.

Parents and other caregivers should be alert to abnormal changes in a child’s behavior. They may have cause for concern if a child who is normally friendly and outgoing, for example, becomes isolationist or conversely begins lashing out at peers. Caregivers must investigate if they notice that otherwise unremarkable situations and comments trigger emotional outbursts or disproportional retaliation from a child. Children under stress may also hit, kick, bite or tattle on other kids. Additional symptoms can include crying, bed wetting, stuttering, appetite loss or laziness, according to Ruffin.

Parents and caregivers must be careful about the information and conversations shared in the presence of children. It’s true that it can sometimes be helpful to children to witness “real life” and see their parents or other adults working through tough issues, if this interaction is healthy and productive. However, parents and caregivers must remember that children also lack the skills, education and life experience to process some “adult level” information or situations.

As this paper earlier mention, a person who has an impact on the child’s life has the ability to determine how much impact they will have and what kind. Though a parent can be a “caregiver” that provides for the child, financially. There are so many more factors that goes into the actual carrying of the child. Physically and mentally being there for a child is key. Being able to create that connected relationship with the child not only creates a short term advantage for the foundation, but long term as well. The benefit of a sold parent child, teacher child, teacher parent, and so on is amazing.

There are multiple steps that can happen to assist a child during stressful times. First, acknowledge the child’s feelings. Listen to what they have to say and do not minimize or dismiss it. You can also equip your child by helping formulate descriptions of what he or she is feeling. Ruffin suggests, “Teach children names or words for their feelings and appropriate ways to express them.” Parents and caregivers can also create an affirming environment for kids. This can be done by praising and rewarding positive behaviors rather than simply focusing on coercive punishments to manage negative ones. Another step is to aid kids through the use of stories, drawing, play-acting or “pretend” conversations between toys. For example, ask a child to draw a picture of his home and then ask him why there are dark clouds, or why his parents are not home or how come the characters in the picture are all frowning. Try to under the image from the child’s perspective, this will truly help make understanding more effective for both parties.

The National Child Traumatic Stress Network, Resources for Parents and Caregivers. 2016, Retrieved from http://www.nctsn.org/resources/audiences/parents-caregivers
University of Minnesota Extension, Dealing with Stress. 2013, Retrieved from https://www.extension.umn.edu/family/live-healthy-live-well/healthy-minds/dealing-with-stress/parental-stress/
American Psychological Association, Identifying Signs of Stress in Your Children and Teens. 2017, Retrieved from http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/stress-children.aspx

Hurricane Katrina to Hurricane Harvey to Covid-19 – Lessons Learned From the Frontline

“Hurricane Katrina was an extremely destructive and deadly tropical cyclone that was the costliest natural disaster and one of the five deadliest hurricanes in the history of the United States It was the eleventh named storm and the fifth hurricane of the 2005 Atlantic hurricane season.” The storm caused severe destruction along the Gulf coast from central Florida to Texas, much of it due to the storm surge and levee failure. Severe property damage occurred in coastal areas, such as Mississippi beachfront towns where boats and casino barges rammed buildings, pushing cars and houses inland; water reached 6–12 miles (10–19 km) from the beach.

“The storm was the third most intense United States landfalling tropical cyclone, behind the 1935 Labor Day hurricane and Hurricane Camille in 1969. Overall, at least 1,245 people died in the hurricane and subsequent floods, making it the deadliest United States hurricane since the 1928 Okeechobee hurricane.” Total property damage was estimated at $108 billion, roughly four times the damage wrought by Hurricane Andrew in 1992 in the United States! Over fifty breaches in New Orleans’s hurricane surge protection were the cause of the majority of the death and destruction during Katrina on August 29, 2005. Eventually 80% of the city and large tracts of neighboring parishes became flooded, and the floodwaters lingered for weeks!!

I was 10 when Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans, I didn’t realize at the time the impact such an event would have on not on me and my family, but the entire city has a whole. Hurricane Katrine was like something New Orleans had never experienced. Our city was completely turned upside down in just a blink of an eye and it was nothing we could do. To lose everything and be in the position where you honestly have to start over is so overwhelming, the stress alone was unbearable.

I remember everything. The emotional roller coaster we were on from the moment we left New Orleans was endless. My parents had no idea where exactly we were going, but they knew we would drive far enough to be away from the danger. Somehow the destination became Houston, Texas. A drive that normally takes about 8 hours, turned into over 23 hours, almost one whole day! One can imagine the stress and anxiety that alone came with. So many people were trying to get to safety, there was traffic backed up for hourssss; gas stations even began to run out of gasoline, creating other addiction problems for the people who cars were basically on E.

We truly had no idea the damage Katrina would do. My neighborhood was literally completely under water. Mid City (where we lived) had over 10 feet of water, the house was destroyed and everything in it. There was little to nothing able to be saved, everything I knew was no more, everything we had was no more. After such experience, there was so much pain and hurt left. Though I was “just a kid” I was well aware of what was happening and what my family was going through. Stress is such an overpowering emotion, it tends to take over one’s life, and after a while, the person becomes numb. I Thank God everyday for the protection he puts on my family, because even now, almost 13 years later, I can not imagine our outcome without him.

Reference:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/trauma-and-hope/201709/post-hurricane-stress-anxiety-recovery-and-ptsd

http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/26/us/gallery/hurricane-harvey/index.html

http://www.history.com/topics/hurricane-katrina

http://www.cdc.gov

Why Children Need PEACE In Our Homes

PEACE is not a want it is a need. PEACE first is imperative in the home. It gives the child/children assurance to move without hesitation. Allowing peace in the home gives the child/children a voice in society.

According to the 2019 Department of Justice Statistics Report, 1 in every 10 children in America experience some violence in their home or in a relatives home. Various factors contribute to factors impact a child’s ability to mentally and emotionally process violence abuse.

Without trials there is not Victory. As families mature in their walk with Peace and Joy multiplies. As our families grow, they will notice the promise of peace that often carries a myriad of conditions.

Having family meetings brings a strong connection. During calm moments family can begin to work on difficult and sometimes life-altering circumstances. Having these meetings will allow the children to feel a part of the family. Also having these meetings can decrease sibling rivalries. Creating a non-violent home environment allows each member of the family structure to be comfortable to speak and be honest with each member of the family.

Our children need to have a sacred place to have Peace. The home is where children learn the value of Peace. To reinforce this value, parents must have respect for each family member. Peace is not taught by talking about it, it shown by leading by example. Having open communication also allows a child to have open opinions.

Home is where children find peace that teaches them to use their the Freedom of Speech. More communication and verbal positive language used a home teaches children how to communicate in their developmental years. Children learn by example and they often immolate what they see at home. Communicating with an object verses a verbal conversation in the home results in angry broken child.

Parents and adults must pay attention to the environment we are creating in our homes. Parents choices and actions have consequences that often optional. We have an option be a Peacemaker or a Trouble maker. Remember our children are taught by example.

Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to not be afraid of living a full and meaningful life.

If you need further tips on Keeping The Peace in Your Home, write to: drsuzannemynettemayo@gmail.com.

Suzanne Mynette Mayo, Ph.D.

Lecturer, Family and Consumer Sciences Department,
Grambling State University, Grambling, LA

Discipline: One Size Does Not Fit All

I overheard my 12-year old son exclaim to a friend that he “just wished everyone in school would disappear!” My initial response as the parent of a mild-tempered pre-teen boy was a chuckle of general understanding. However, my post analysis was that of a researcher of youth and discipline. My mind raced through the piles of claims made by many parents of mild-tempered youth and children who, they too, could never have imagined being disconnected from a school or familial institution, or worse, homicidal.

The wave of school violence in the U.S. has devastated the nation, causing extensive dialogue between parents, schools and youth in the 20th and 21st centuries. All parties have sought to define discipline collectively and establish effective disciplinary methods.

A challenge in the quest to establish effective disciplinary methods is due to the widespread misconception of discipline for children and youth. Too much punitive discipline yields harsh responses to unpleasant behavior. Discipline is most accurately defined as training expected to produce a specific moral or mental character or pattern of behavior. But, are schools and parents progressing in discovering disciplinary methods that will coincide with this definition of discipline? As a result of years of dialogue, numerous policies (such as the Safe and Drug Free Schools Act and Zero Tolerance), along with the historically overused consequences of suspensions and expulsions, have remained preferred disciplinary methods. Some parents have chosen to mimic these methods of discipline in the home, presuming that schools have an authoritative command of effective discipline. Parents must become informed of the weaknesses and problems associated with “push away” forms of discipline.

The Problem Lies at the End

The principle problem with the concepts of suspension and expulsion (or “sent away” from a home environment) is that these are means of further disconnecting youth who have already accepted a marginal status in society. These specific children and youth have become committed to rebelling against and ridding themselves of the institutions that they feel have failed them. While striving to rid themselves of familial and school organizations, they are not affected by being “pushed away” at this point. Rejection interventions are employed reactively to poor training as opposed to proactively training for a specific undesirable behavior.

Hence, aligned with the definition of discipline, the preferred disciplinary methods should be those that ensure productive moral and psychological training before the disconnection between youth and family and school institutions emerges. The concept of training before disconnection implies that disciplinary problems evolve in an escalating process. Children do not abruptly choose to hate those who care for them. If discipline enlists training throughout the process, constructive discipline will occur.

In our next issue, Dr. Johnson will discuss the solution process.

Guide to Student Success

Today’s middle school students are receiving more homework, which means they need more than ever to develop and hone their organization and time management skills. The best way to support homework efforts is to help children design a framework within which they can do their best work with an increasing degree of independence:

Be prepared.

Assume your children will have studying to do every night and work with them to create a comfortable, distraction-free homework zone.

Understand teachers’ policies and expectations.

Encourage your children to ask their teachers questions, reminding them that an in-person visit before or after school is often most effective.

Be available and teach by example.

Check in with your children while they work, offering to be a sounding board or source of advice. Help them cope with feelings of failure or frustration.

Identify other resources.

Encourage your children to find homework buddies, and do not hesitate to line up extra support if needed. Get to know the guidance counselors and other school employees. Education support professionals generally know all of the students in the school, and their relationship with your children will continue as they move from one grade to the next. Consider taking advantage of the many technology-based tools and educational software titles now available.

Stay in touch with your children’s teachers.

If teachers have access to e-mail, it can be an effective way to maintain regular contact in addition to telephone calls and in-person visits. Let teachers know of any home issues that may affect academic performance or needs.

Inspire learning outside school.

Nurture your children’s personal interests, perhaps finding activities that parallel what they’re studying in school, thus fostering their enthusiasm for learning as a life-long endeavor. National Education Association and LeapFrog

GUIDELINES to a Successful Family-School Relationship

Let’s consider specific guidelines to help you communicate effectively with your child’s teacher.

Practice these guidelines, and your child will reap the benefits.

Guideline 1: Identify the purpose for the conference.

Is it to become acquainted? Is it to alleviate your concerns about your child’s attitude towards reading and school? Is it to receive a report card or test scores? Each of these situations is vastly different and requires different preparation.

Guideline 2: Communicate the purpose for the conference.

If you are requesting the conference, immediately tell the teacher the purpose. This helps to alleviate any preconceived ideas the teacher may have about your request to hold a conference.

Guideline 3: Arrange the conference at the teacher’s convenience.

The teacher now has sufficient time to plan and to have the necessary information at the conference. An unplanned conference can turn out to be a waste of time for both teacher and parent and cause feelings of frustration.

Guideline 4: Plan for the conference.

Write out the areas and questions you want the conference to cover. Combine, delete, and clarify these questions; and, finally, prioritize them. By using this process, your most important questions will be answered in a clear, succinct manner. Moreover, the teacher’s responses will likely be clearer and more to the point.

Guideline 5: Restate the purpose of the conference at the onset.

Try to stay on the predetermined topic(s) since your time together is limited.

Guideline 6: Display a positive attitude during the conference.

Be aware that not only what you say reflects your attitude, but also your tone of voice, facial expression, and body language. A loud voice may imply dominance. Rigid posture may suggest anger or disapproval. Always listen attentively and show your enthusiasm.

Guideline 7: Remain open and supportive throughout the conference.

Try not to become defensive or antagonistic; otherwise the outcome of the conference may be unfruitful. Strive for cooperation with your child’s teacher. Even if the teacher presents a negative side of your child’s behavior or informs you of other problems, try to remain objective. This can be difficult when it is your child, but he may experience as many or more difficulties if you and the teacher do not try to find a way to work together to solve these problems.

Guideline 8: Make sure suggestions are provided to increase your child’s growth.

If your child is doing well, find out what you can do to ensure continued success and progress. If he/she has difficulties, make sure the teacher goes beyond merely pointing out a problem. The teacher needs to provide ideas for eliminating or reducing the difficulty. Many parents become discouraged or aggravated if a teacher points out problems, but does not provide solutions. Do not allow this situation to occur. If immediate suggestions can not be provided, then a follow-up conference is needed.

Guideline 9: Ask for examples of daily work to better understand your child’s strengths and weaknesses.

By reviewing your child’s work, you will learn if progress has been made since the last conference. Have any weaknesses become more severe? If improvement has not been made, are other methods or materials an option? Inquire what you can do at home with your child.

Guideline 10: Clarify and summarize each important point as it is discussed.

Thus, both teacher and parent are better able to develop a mutual understanding and agreement. Let’s look at a conference in which a parent does a good job of clarifying and summarizing a major point.

Teacher: Kimberly has difficulties with oral reading. She is not reading smoothly and tends to read in a word-by-word fashion. If Kimberly reads along with a taped version of a book, her oral reading would improve. Can you provide Kimberly with taped versions of books?

Parent: Kimberly is a poor reader. Do you want me to make tapes of books so Kimberly can read along with the tapes?

Teacher: Yes, you can make tapes, but the public and school libraries can also provide you with tapes, cd’s and books. Also, I would like to clarify one point about Kimberly’s reading ability. She has some difficulty with oral reading, but I would not classify her as a poor reader.

Parent: Thank you for the clarification. Kimberly and I will work together on improving oral reading. We will check the school and public libraries for some books and recordings.

If the parent had not summarized and clarified what was heard in this conference, a misconception may have developed. By suggesting that she would record books for Kimberly, the parent was able to find out whether the suggestion was appropriate, as well as learning about alternatives. Notice that this parent summarized the conference at the end. As a result, both parties received the same message.

Guideline 11: Once agreement is reached, discuss the next topic.

During the conference, you may want the teacher to understand certain things about your child, or you may have a special request. Once your point is understood and the teacher has agreed, it is wise not to continue the same discussion. It may present new questions which may reverse your previous agreement. Once a decision is made, it is best to start discussing the next point. You will find the conference to be much more productive.

Guideline 12: Make sure you understand the information the teacher is supplying.

Often teachers use educational jargon, not realizing parents may not understand. Don’t be afraid to ask for an explanation or definition. Make sure when the conference ends you have understood all the information reported. If you are unclear or uncertain about any aspect of the conference, your child may not benefit and learning may be hindered. After all, don’t you encourage your child(ren) to ask questions when they do not understand? Simply follow your own advice here.

Guideline 13: Keep conferences short.

Conferences that run more than 40 minutes can be tiresome for both parent and teacher. If you can not accomplish all that has been planned, ask for another conference. By scheduling a future conference, you will have an opportunity to follow up on previous agreements and revise them, if necessary.

Remember, your child will benefit from an amicable, enthusiastic relationship between parent and teacher. One should function as the support system for the other. After all, this is one of the most important relationships you have as it relates to your child.

Carol Alexander-Lewis

Publisher of Modern Parents Magazine

FUN WAYS TO ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD TO READ

Reading can unlock the keys to a world of information. Parents are teachers, both by example and by conversation. Give children opportunities to play, to talk and to hear you talk to them. Listen to what they have to say and answer their questions. Read aloud to your child every day. These are fun activities that you can do with your child to encourage him or her to read and to reinforce the importance of school.

ABC Book. Compile plain white or colorful paper. Write one upper and lower case letter (A,a) onto each page. Have your child go through old newspapers or magazines and match each letter to a picture in the magazine. Cut out and glue each object onto a page. Compile and transform these pages into a memorable book.

Alphabet Hunt. Make a list of all the letters in the alphabet. Have your child identify household items that start with as many of the letters as possible.

Cartoons. Cut cartoon strips apart frame by frame. Have your child put them back in order and read the completed cartoon.

Concentration Games. Create a game using coupons. Children would need to match two similar products. The brand names of these products may differ, if you wish.

Create Stories. Makeup stories with your child. Alternate between parent and child in adding lines to the story.

Predict the Story Outcome. Flip through a picture storybook with your child and have him or her predict the story outcome from the pictures. Then go back and read the story to your child.

Newspaper Scavenger Hunt. Go through a newspaper and make a list of 10-15 items to find in the paper (i.e.-cartoons, sports statistics, a story about your city, weather data, picture of a government official, car ad, etc.)

Recipes. Pick out simple recipes and help your child make the recipes. Children should read the directions. This reinforces the need for math and reading skills.

Repetition. Have your child tell the story to you after you have read it to him or her.

Safety Walk. Take your child on a walk around the neighborhood or to a park. Point out signs and read what is on the signs (i.e.- house numbers, stop signs, street names, business names.) Have your child name pieces of safety equipment used in sports or play. Explain the safety need of each object.

These are just a few ways to reinforce the concept that reading is tied to all aspects of daily life. This sends the message that reading is important, impacts all areas of life and is not merely a school-based activity.

Nutrition During Pregnancy

While the term “eating for two” is a bit of an exaggeration, nutrient and calorie needs do increase considerably during pregnancy and while a new mother is breastfeeding. Particularly important are nutrients such as protein, calcium, iron and B vitamins, which growing babies need in plentiful supply. If you are pregnant, rather than focus on a few particular nutrients, you’ll want to follow the general guidelines for good eating by the Department of Agriculture’s Food Guide Pyramid. The Pyramid supports a diet based on fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean meats, and low-fat dairy foods.

While there are not many new studies looking at diet during pregnancy, a recent government report has created new guidelines about appropriate weight gain and nutrient supplementation that spell a major shift in the thinking about these two subjects. Perhaps the real cutting- edge scientific news for women who are pregnant is the impact of diet during the preconception phase. Numerous studies suggest that the amount of folic-acid rich foods you eat before you even become pregnant can have a huge impact on the health of your baby.
Speculation is that the overall quality of the diet prior to pregnancy may be just as important, if not more so, than what you eat during pregnancy.

Preconception Diet Planning
It’s well known that a poor diet during pregnancy can hinder a child’s capacity to learn and have a negative impact on a newborn’s behavior. Yet little research has been done to learn about how diet influences health prior to pregnancy and in the first few weeks of a pregnancy, when many women aren’t even aware of their condition. There are a few preliminary findings.

For instance, one recent study finds that a heavy alcohol intake prior to conception can result in a lower-birth-weight baby. (Lowest-birth-weight babies can be plagued with teaming and growth problems.) Numerous reports link a diet low in folic acid to increased risk for neural tube birth defects such as spina bifida.

Foods high in Folic Acid: spinach, asparagus, lima beans, broccoli, wheat germ, beets, cauliflower, orange, cantaloupe.

All the Right Foods
While pregnant women need to eat the same kind of foods that the rest of us do, they do need a little bit more of certain nutrients.

Protein-Although protein needs jump from 46 to 50 grams prior to pregnancy to 60 grams (during pregnancy) and 65 grams (while breastfeeding), most women already eat these higher levels of protein. (Americans tend to eat double the RDA for protein.) However, the difference, which amounts to about 10 to 15 grams for most women is easily met by adding an extra one and a half ounces of lean meat or 12 ounces of milk each day.

Calcium-Calcium needs jump an extra 400 milligrams during pregnancy and lactation. An extra glass of low-fat milk (which provides about 300 milligrams of calcium) almost meets this extra demand.

Vitamin A-Vitamin A is required for growth and normal development of the fetus. Studies suggest that the nutrient is also critical to the healthy immune system.
However, your requirements for this fat-soluble vitamin do not change during pregnancy. They do increase from 800 micrograms (retinol equivalents) to 1,300 while you are breastfeeding. Fortified milk and eggs are good sources of Vitamin A. In addition, the beta-carotene found in plants (bright orange fruits and vegetables such as carrots and cantaloupe; dark leafy greens such as broccoli and spinach) can be converted by the body to Vitamin A.

Vitamin C-Important to wound healing and healthy immune function, Vitamin C requirements increase slightly during pregnancy; needs are even higher during lactation. These increases are easily met with Vitamin-C-rich foods such as citrus fruit, strawberries, broccoli, and potatoes.

B Vitamins-Your need for these B vitamins-thiamin, riboflavin, niacin, and vitamins B and B12-is slightly higher during pregnancy and lactation. Rather than focus on each of these vitamins, which are widely available in foods, you can meet the increased demands by boosting your intake of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. Fortified breads and cereals often contain several of these B vitamins.

Vitamin E-Important for normal neurological development, Vitamin E requirements increase only slightly during pregnancy. A fat-soluble vitamin found in vegetable oils, whole grains, nuts, and dark, leafy green vegetables, Vitamin E appears important to the healthy immune system.

Vitamin D-Since Vitamin D is needed for skeletal growth (strong bones), it’s no surprise that requirements for this nutrient are higher during pregnancy and lactation. If your skin is regularly exposed to small amounts of sunlight, the body can manufacture enough Vitamin D to meet these needs. Vitamin D can also be obtained from fortified milk and dairy products; make sure to choose the low or reduced fat variety.

Zinc-Critical for immune function, zinc is important during pregnancy and lactation. Your requirements will increase from 12 milligrams per day to 15 milligrams per day during pregnancy. Requirements increase to 19 milligrams during lactation. If you are eating lean meats and poultry, seafood, eggs, milk, and whole grains, it should be easy to meet these increased needs. Iron-Your need for iron doubles during pregnancy (from 15 milligrams per day to 30 milligrams). Some doctors prescribe iron supplements to help meet these requirements, but you can boost your intake with iron rich foods. Iron from meat is more readily absorbed than iron from vegetables.

Phosphorous-The mineral phosphorous is another nutrient critical for normal skeletal formation. It works in tandem with calcium and other nutrients such as magnesium to create strong bones, which is why needs increase during pregnancy and lactation. Good sources of phosphorous include dairy products, lean meats and poultry, fish, and whole grains.

Magnesium-Critical to strong bones, magnesium is also needed for normal muscle function and nerve transmission. Your needs will increase only slightly during pregnancy and lactation. The extra requirements are easily met through low-fat milk, meat, legumes, green vegetables, and whole grains.

The Health Nutrient Bible

25 Tips for a Green Pregnancy

Pregnancy is an ideal time to adopt a green lifestyle. Having a baby creates a natural change. By necessity, you’re getting rid of things to make room for baby, and bringing new items into your home. Prepare your home in advance to ease the transition.

Eat organic food. Your diet has great impact on your baby.
Have a green baby shower. Register for eco-friendly products, organic baby clothes, cloth diapers and nontoxic toys.
Paint the nursery with no-VOC paint.
Shop for second-hand baby clothes. Search out your local consignment stores and recycled children’s clothing stores.
Borrow big items, such as a car seat and high chair.
Shop locally for used gear such as a crib and baby furniture.
Switch to biodegradable and eco-friendly cleaning products.
Also, experiment with homemade cleaners such as baking soda, vinegar, and lemon.
Invest in a water bottle. It is important to stay hydrated throughout pregnancy and during the postpartum period.
Research eco-friendly personal care products.
Consider purchasing an organic crib mattress.
Invest in organic cotton bedding. Choose natural fibers and organic materials to protect your infant from pesticides and other chemicals.
Install a water softener. Soft water is good for your skin and the environment.
Install a water purifier.
Switch to eco-friendly laundry detergent. Preparing for baby means sorting, washing, and organizing tiny and adorable clothing. Wash all baby clothes in a gentle eco-friendly detergent to protect your baby’s skin. Also, do not use dryer sheets, as these can be irritating on soft skin.
Build your “mommy” wardrobe. Use eco-friendly materials such as organic cotton, bamboo and hemp.
Make a run to the recycling center. Dispose of old chemicals and electronics before baby arrives.
Invest in a sturdy stroller. Walking is an excellent way to burn off the baby weight, alleviate postpartum depression, and sooth a fussy baby.
Find a baby carrier that suits you.
Have a garage sale. Switch out plastic storage containers, plastic cutting boards, and plastic dinnerware and replace them with glass, wood, bamboo or ceramic.
Take a trip to the library. There are lots of great books on greening your lifestyle.
Start a garden. Squatting down in the garden is an excellent way to build muscles needed for birthing.
Visit your local farmer’s market. Start getting to know your local vendors now, and when you come by toting your new bundle of joy they will likely throw in an extra vegetable or two!
Shop for indoor plants. Plants recycle oxygen and break down pollutants.
Purchase a scanner. Cut through a pile of paperwork by scanning your documents.
Install energy efficient light bulbs, dimmers, timers, and light-sensors.
Greening your pregnancy is a great way to feel good about the choices you are making in preparation for your baby’s arrival. By implementing these tips during your pregnancy, you will have more time and energy to enjoy your baby in the days, weeks, and months ahead.

Joy Harkins is a new mom living in California. She blogs about simple clutter-free, debt-free, organized, green living at www.JustPlainJoy.blogspot.com.