Student Parents: Build a Support Map for the Semester

Raising a child while studying means several calendars are moving at once. A support map helps you identify the people and services to contact before a week becomes a crisis.

List the pressure points

Write down class times, study blocks, child care hours, transportation, and your child’s school or care schedule. Circle the times when one disruption would affect everything else. Plan one backup contact or alternative for each of those times, if available.

Ask the campus specific questions

Contact your student services or financial aid office and ask about child care referrals, emergency support, advising, tutoring, and any student-parent group. Some institutions have child care supported by the federal CCAMPIS program; availability and eligibility depend on the campus. Ask what is actually offered at yours.

Share a practical plan

Tell a trusted person which help would matter most: school pickup, a quiet hour, a meal, or a check-in. If an assignment conflicts with a care emergency, contact the instructor as early as you can and propose a workable next step.

Return to the map each month. Support changes, and asking for it is part of planning. Explore the magazine’s Student Parents page for more ideas.

High School Planning: Start With the Next Decision

College, work, training, and graduation can feel like one enormous decision. Students can make progress by separating the next action from the distant outcome.

Map the current year

Review graduation requirements with a school counselor and note course choices, application dates, and opportunities to explore an interest. Requirements vary by school, so use the current guidance from your own school rather than an old checklist.

Try a small exploration

Interview someone about their work, visit a program, volunteer, or compare two training paths. Write down what appealed to you and what you would rather avoid. An experiment gives more information than guessing about a career title.

Make study time visible

For a large assignment, list the research, first draft, feedback, and revision as separate steps. Put those steps on different days. Use short practice questions to see what you can explain without notes. The IES study guide offers evidence-informed ideas for review and self-checking.

Parents can ask what support the student wants and help locate reliable information. The student’s next decision should still belong to them.

A Middle School Weekly Reset Students Can Own

Middle school brings more teachers, assignments, and decisions. A weekly reset helps students see the whole week without asking a parent to manage every step.

Put everything in one place

Choose a paper planner or a simple digital calendar. List due dates, activities, and the materials needed for each day. Ask the student to identify the two tasks that require the most time. Estimate when to start, then leave some room for surprises.

Study by recalling

After reading notes, close them and explain the idea aloud, sketch a diagram, or answer a few practice questions. Revisit the material on another day. The Institute of Education Sciences’ study practice guide discusses spacing learning over time and using questions to check what students know.

End with a useful question

At week’s end, ask, “Which part of the plan worked, and what will you change?” If an assignment or friendship issue feels unmanageable, help the student name the concern and reach out to a teacher or counselor. The goal is to build a planning skill they can carry forward.

Make Elementary Reading a Shared Habit

Reading at home does not have to look like another lesson. A regular, relaxed exchange about a book can help children connect words with meaning and discover what they enjoy.

Give your child a choice

Offer books, comics, recipes, or library selections that fit their interests. Read aloud together even when your child can read independently. Take turns with a page, or let them listen while you read a more challenging story.

Talk about meaning

Pause to ask, “What do you think will happen?” or “Why did that character decide that?” Accept an unexpected answer and ask what in the text led them there. If a word is unfamiliar, talk about the sentence and try it in a new one. Keep the exchange brief enough to preserve the pleasure of reading.

Work with the teacher

If reading is frustrating, ask which skill your child is practicing and what kind of activity would help at home. The Institute of Education Sciences has practical K–3 family reading ideas you can adapt together.

End with an invitation to read again, not a score. A small habit has room to grow.

Preschool Learning With Things You Already Have

Preschool play can start with paper, safe household objects, and a curious question. The best material is often something a child can explore with you, then use in a new way tomorrow.

Make a sorting game

Gather a few large, age-appropriate objects such as socks, cups, or leaves. Invite your child to group them by color, size, or use. Ask how they chose the groups. There can be more than one good answer. Avoid small items that could be a choking hazard for younger children.

Tell a story together

Draw three simple pictures: a beginning, a problem, and an ending. Let your child tell the story while you write down a few of their words. Read the story back and invite a new ending. This makes their ideas visible and gives a reason to talk about sequence.

Take the game outside

Notice shapes on buildings, count steps to a tree, or describe a change in the weather. Head Start’s family activity handbook offers more ways to find learning in ordinary places.

Let the child lead for a while. A question such as “What do you notice?” can open a longer conversation than a worksheet.

Turn Toddler Talk Into Everyday Learning

Toddlers learn during the small moments adults often overlook: putting away shoes, choosing a snack, and watching a bus go by. You can turn those moments into language and connection without buying a new activity.

Narrate, then leave room

Describe what you are doing in short phrases: “I’m washing the red cup.” Ask a simple question, then wait. If your child points or uses one word, respond to the meaning and add a little more: “Yes, the big red cup.” Keep it playful rather than testing for the correct answer.

Read the pictures together

Let your child choose a book and turn pages at their pace. Name what they notice, invite them to point, and enjoy repeated favorites. The CDC includes reading books and talking about pictures among its 18-month activity ideas.

Use routines as practice

At cleanup time, sort soft toys into a basket or count a few blocks. On a walk, look for shapes, sounds, and familiar people. If your child becomes tired or frustrated, stop and return later. Learning is part of the relationship, not another chore on the schedule.

Reading With Your Baby: A Conversation From the Start

A baby does not need to understand every word for a book to be worth sharing. Your voice, the pictures, and the chance to respond to one another are the beginning of a reading routine.

Follow your baby’s attention

Choose a sturdy book with clear pictures. Point to one image and name it. Pause when your baby looks, vocalizes, reaches, or turns away. You can describe what you see in your home language and repeat favorite pages. The conversation matters more than finishing the book.

Fit reading into an ordinary day

Try a few minutes after a nap, before bedtime, or while waiting for an appointment. A family photograph or a magazine picture can start a similar exchange. Older siblings can take turns naming colors and objects, with an adult nearby.

The CDC suggests looking at books and talking about pictures with babies as part of everyday learning. See its one-year milestones and activity ideas. Children develop at different rates; if you have a concern about development, discuss it with your child’s health professional.

Today’s reading can be one picture, one smile, and one more word shared together.

A Ten-Minute Family Learning Check-In

School conversations can become a list of missing assignments. A short weekly check-in makes room for the child’s ideas as well as the calendar. Choose a calm moment and keep it predictable: Sunday evening, the ride home, or a walk together.

Start with what went well

Ask, “What are you proud of this week?” Give the answer time to develop. It might be a friendship, a hard problem solved, or simply showing up on a difficult day. Then ask what feels confusing or heavy. Listen before offering a fix.

Pick one next step

Look at upcoming school dates together and choose a single useful action: email a teacher, set aside reading time, find a library book, or break a project into two smaller tasks. Let your child own an age-appropriate part of the plan. Write it where both of you can see it.

Make school a partnership

If a concern persists, contact the school with a specific observation and a question about what support is available. Share what works for your child at home, and ask what the teacher notices at school. The U.S. Department of Education’s family partnership resources offer more prompts for this conversation.

At the next check-in, notice progress and adjust the plan. A small, repeatable conversation is more useful than a perfect one.

What is stress, the causes of stress? Is it inevitable?

Stress affects many Americans; it is not just a 21st century problem but and issue that people all over the world have experienced since the beginning of time. Stress can if continued can have a negative impact on a person’s life. Stress doesn’t always have to be negative. Stress can also lead to positive results pushing the person undergoing stress to the next level in their life. According to the googled definition, stress is the pressure or tension exerted on a material object. A state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances

What are the main causes is stress? There are various things in a person’s life that can cause stress. In a person’s personal life such as health, emotional problems, your relationship, major changes in life, stress in the family or conflicts with your beliefs and values. There are also social and job related causes of stress as well such as your surroundings, social situation, or job. A person can also desire help when dealing with stress if they have encountered life threatening or traumatic events like death of a loved one, sexual violation, natural disaster or war. Those particular events can cause something that is called (PTSD) post traumatic stress disorder. Stress is your body’s way of responding to any kind of demand or threat.

Often times stress can come from factors on the inside of you rather than the outside. A person can cause unwanted stress by worrying about things that they have no control over. The fear of the unknown can lead to a person becoming stressed. We often watch the local news and hearing of the recent wars, the results of the presidential election and the state our country is in a result, wildfires, earthquakes, bombings etc. can seen us into a state of fear causing stress because we have no control over the outcomes. We know deep down that there is no way to know when, where or how these disasters will happen but the daily coverage on the news makes us believe that the events are more than likely to happen and happen often. We can also experience fear in our own home such as the fear of loneliness, bills not being paid on time, school, work products and children.

The way we perceive things and our responses to them can determine whether we will let it add stress into our lives. For example, you can get a flat tire and if your respond to it as “oh well, I have tire warranty, I’m covered you are less likely to stress you out. “My tire is busted, what if it happens to my other tires; will they continue to cover it?” As for me, my constant worry is I am taking classes’ full time as well as working full time; will I be able to handle this? Do I have the ability to be successful at both? We tend to think that we are perfect without fault. As stated in the article Causes of stress in webmd “If you expect to do everything right, all the time, you’re destined to feel stressed when things don’t go as expected”. When a person experience change in their life, it can be stressful be it a happy or sad event. What we allow to stress us is based on the person that we are.

What can stress do to your body? The hypothalamus, a tiny control tower in our brain, sends out the order: Bring on stress hormones! These stress hormones are the same ones that trigger your body’s “fight or flight” response. Your heart starts to race, breath quickens, and muscles are ready for action. This response was designed to protect the body in an emergency by preparing you to react quickly. But when a person continues to become stressed, the stress response keeps firing, day after day, and it can put your health at serious risk. Below, is a chart that explains the effects of stress on various parts of the body.

Stress is a natural physical and mental reaction to life experiences. Everyone will experience stress from time to time. In all of a sudden, short-term situations, stress can be beneficial to your health. It can help prepare your body with the ability to handle potentially serious situations. If your stress response doesn’t stop firing, these stress levels stay at a heightened level longer than needed for survival and as a result, it can take a toll on your health. Chronic stress can cause a variety of symptoms and affect your overall quality of life.

Behavioral symptoms that causes stress We already know that stress can have serious affects on the body but many do not realize that when you are stressed, it affects your thoughts and feelings, and your behavior. Being able to recognize when you are stressed, can give you a head start managing it. A few common effects of stress on your mood causes anxiety, restlessness, lack of motivation or focus, feeling of being overwhelmed, irritability or anger, and sadness or depression. Common effects of stress on your behavior are overeating/ lack of eating, angry outbursts, drug or alcohol, tobacco use, social withdrawal or change in lifestyle veering away from the things that normally gives you pleasure.

How to manage stress? Because stress is unavoidable, it can be manageable. There are are several ways that you can manage your stress level is by engaging in exercising. Exercising on a daily basis can help change your mood and can be used as a distraction from the worries in life and allows you to come away from the negative thoughts that adds to your stress level. Connecting with others can be a stress reliever as well. Something as simple as being in the company and talking to another person can send signal to your body and ease stress when you are feeling irritated. Engage your senses of touch, taste, seeing, smell, hearing can calm you. Often times when I am feeling stressed, I listen to gospel music or a sermon while at times taking deep breathes has a tendency to calm me. When I do these things, it switches my focus from the negative to the positive.

Learn how to relax we cannot prevent stress from happening in our life however, we can control our response to it. When we use techniques to relax our body like yoga, meditation, and deep breathing send a signal to our body to relax. Eating right is another way to help us manage stress. The foods that we decide to put into our bodies can help or hurt the way we feel and our ability to handle situations. Lastly, getting plenty of rest also helps. When our bodies are tired, stress can cause us to respond in a way that we normally would not if we had the ability to think rationally. If we are under stress, we either have a hard time falling asleep or have a hard time sleeping the entire night.

When children face stress, unfortunately they do not always have the tools to help them manage the stress as adults do. As adults, it is our job to help a child cope when they are experiencing stress. Before a child is born, it can be affected by stress if the mother is experiencing a period of stress while the child is still in the womb. The brain is the primary stress organ. The mother has cortisol levels in her body that can affect the developing fetus. If the mother is stressed, it can directly affect to the well-being of the unborn child.

Stress levels that are positive and easily tolerated by the body are safe. However, stress that is toxic can increase the risk of premature birth, low birth weight and other complications. Stress can also be linked to I impaired mental, behavioral and motor development in the baby. For children, their bodies and minds are still growing, so coping strategies would be extremely important for them. High levels of stress early on have been connected to impaired behavioral and emotional development as well as numerous health impacts later on in life.

In conclusion, stress is a powerful thing that can help or hurt a person. The way in which we allow it to affect our life is how we respond to the stressful event. Everyone needs to have the ability and the tools needed for them to get through their situation. Given that children are not capable to do the things necessary to manage stress, we must guide them through the process which is similar to the way that adults need to get through situations. Initially, when I saw that a 6-8 pages research paper was the midterm for this class I immediately when through mixed emotions causing stress on me. I did not sleep at all last night worrying if I could get the job done. After going through various emotions, it was up to me to either let it get me down and take a toll on me or take a deep breath and tackle my exam head first.

Bibliography:

Helpguide.org. (2017). Stress Symptoms, Signs, and Causes: Improving Your Ability to Handle Stress. [online] Available at: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-symptoms-signs-and-causes.htm [Accessed 17 Oct. 2017].

Mayoclinic.org. (2017). Stress symptoms: Effects on your body and behavior – Mayo Clinic. [online] Available at: http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-symptoms/art-20050987?p=1 [Accessed 17 Oct. 2017].

Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. (2017). Neglect. [online] Available at: https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/deep-dives/neglect/ [Accessed 17 Oct. 2017]

Pinterest. (2017). Best 10+ Physical effects of stress ideas on Pinterest | Psychological effects of stress, Negative effects of stress and Physical symptoms of anxiety. Available at: https://www.pinterest.com/explore/physical-effects-of-stress/?lp=true [Accessed 17 Oct. 2017].

Stress Affects on Families and Children

In its toxic form, stress affects behavior and physical health, and we need to translate this knowledge into public policies that can prevent it. The importance of children’s earliest years has long been recognized, but our understanding of the underlying science has taken a significant leap in the past decades. Studies regularly document the effects that a child’s earliest experiences can have in later life and adult health. There is a growing consensus among experts that a key mechanism linking childhood adversity to later health and well-being is the stress caused by early negative experiences. These early negative experiences manifest in neglect, emotional and physical abuse, and excessively harsh parenting.

In this context, “stress” doesn’t refer to a worried or anxious state of mind, but rather to the body’s physical responses to negative circumstances. When a situation is perceived as challenging or threatening, the body responds with a series of chemical reactions that affect heart rate, blood pressure, metabolism and other functions. These temporary adjustments help us adapt and survive, but when they happen too frequently or last too long they can produce lifelong chronic disease. For children, whose bodies and minds are still growing, a well-tuned stress response system is especially important. High levels of early stress have been linked to impaired behavioral and emotional development as well as numerous health consequences later in life, including high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, obesity and diabetes. Such consequences cost our society in many ways.

Positive stress is a normal part of learning and development. As children learn to cope with frustration, overcome obstacles and confront challenges, they will experience a certain amount of stress. This level of stress is usually safe and manageable, especially if a child has the support of a healthy home environment. It is important to distinguish tolerable stress from toxic stress. Toxic stress is the result of serious events like a death in the family, a high-conflict divorce or a prolonged illness. It is potentially harmful, but sensitive and responsive parenting can protect children from long-term consequences. But in order for these stresses to be managed, parents and caregivers must be aware of the dangers, and must then be equipped with proper supportive response patterns. As educators, working hands on with children and families, it is our collective responsibility to educate on how to manage these inevitable life events one of our highest priorities.

In contrast to tolerable stress, toxic stress refers to persistent, unhealthy amounts of stress caused by chronic stressful conditions without the protective benefits of healthy caregiving. These stresses can eventually cause permanent damage. I truly believe that by coming together has a community and joining forces, the ability to reallocate resources toward the prevention of toxic stress in children and families is endless.

Promoting public health and reducing health disparities require solutions that target children’s earliest years is so critique. It is clearer than ever before that health, achievement and success have their roots in the first months and years of life. Reducing adversity and stress in early childhood should be a key goal of efforts to improve the lives of children. Stress can provoke negative effects in children just as it does with adults. Family stress can be a catalyst for a variety of symptoms in children, according to Novella Ruffin of Virginia State University, including “bed-wetting, upset stomach, irritability, nightmares, lying, withdrawal from activity, change in activity level, poor sleep or eating habits, teeth grinding, or decline in school achievement.” Parents and other caregivers who are alert can take proactive steps to alleviate the harmful effects of stress. This is why being so hands on and present with children is a must, we cannot fulfil our duties as children’s activist if we do not do so.

Stress, according to Ruffin, is “the body’s reaction to a physical or emotional situation that causes imbalance in a person’s life.” Family stresses which can create imbalance and thus have negative effects upon children include a parent’s loss of employment, divorce, fights, physical or emotional abuse, death of loved ones, the arrival of new siblings or environmental changes. Working parents must also be mindful that although their children are not exposed to direct and obvious catalysts, lack of parental interaction and feelings of isolation can also produce stress for children.

Parents and other caregivers should be alert to abnormal changes in a child’s behavior. They may have cause for concern if a child who is normally friendly and outgoing, for example, becomes isolationist or conversely begins lashing out at peers. Caregivers must investigate if they notice that otherwise unremarkable situations and comments trigger emotional outbursts or disproportional retaliation from a child. Children under stress may also hit, kick, bite or tattle on other kids. Additional symptoms can include crying, bed wetting, stuttering, appetite loss or laziness, according to Ruffin.

Parents and caregivers must be careful about the information and conversations shared in the presence of children. It’s true that it can sometimes be helpful to children to witness “real life” and see their parents or other adults working through tough issues, if this interaction is healthy and productive. However, parents and caregivers must remember that children also lack the skills, education and life experience to process some “adult level” information or situations.

As this paper earlier mention, a person who has an impact on the child’s life has the ability to determine how much impact they will have and what kind. Though a parent can be a “caregiver” that provides for the child, financially. There are so many more factors that goes into the actual carrying of the child. Physically and mentally being there for a child is key. Being able to create that connected relationship with the child not only creates a short term advantage for the foundation, but long term as well. The benefit of a sold parent child, teacher child, teacher parent, and so on is amazing.

There are multiple steps that can happen to assist a child during stressful times. First, acknowledge the child’s feelings. Listen to what they have to say and do not minimize or dismiss it. You can also equip your child by helping formulate descriptions of what he or she is feeling. Ruffin suggests, “Teach children names or words for their feelings and appropriate ways to express them.” Parents and caregivers can also create an affirming environment for kids. This can be done by praising and rewarding positive behaviors rather than simply focusing on coercive punishments to manage negative ones. Another step is to aid kids through the use of stories, drawing, play-acting or “pretend” conversations between toys. For example, ask a child to draw a picture of his home and then ask him why there are dark clouds, or why his parents are not home or how come the characters in the picture are all frowning. Try to under the image from the child’s perspective, this will truly help make understanding more effective for both parties.


The National Child Traumatic Stress Network, Resources for Parents and Caregivers. 2016, Retrieved from http://www.nctsn.org/resources/audiences/parents-caregivers
University of Minnesota Extension, Dealing with Stress. 2013, Retrieved from https://www.extension.umn.edu/family/live-healthy-live-well/healthy-minds/dealing-with-stress/parental-stress/
American Psychological Association, Identifying Signs of Stress in Your Children and Teens. 2017, Retrieved from http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/stress-children.aspx